Welcome to  North Carolina…

YouTube HT: @gregoryng

When I’ve captured my adversary and he says, “Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?” I’ll say, “No.” and shoot him. No, on second thought, I’ll shoot him and then say “No.” (via Kotkke)

However, for the last two weeks, the painters have been painting the house, so five times now I have gotten out of the shower only to see a painter, on a ladder, outside my bathroom window. Yesterday, I had to pee in a jar in my closet because they were working outside my bathroom window. In fact, outside all of my windows.

I will be soooo glad when they are done. On a positive note, the house is now much prettier.

10. The Wrath of Rotation
A simple but quick and always amusing prank is putting the screen rotation hotkeys to uses Microsoft never intended. Just run by a co-worker’s desk, reach over and hit Ctrl-Alt-up or down to rotate their monitor orientation. If you have some alone time, you can one-up it by also going into the Control Panel and setting their mouse to left-handed. They’ll spend 10 minutes with their head tilted sideways trying to figure out what the hell is going on.

Find the whole list here: The 25 Best High-Tech Pranks.

YouTube . Thanx to Abby for pointing it out.

• We often can’t even read our OWN minds, so how can we possibly read yours?
• Learn to work the toilet seat. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down.
  You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
• Sunday sports: It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
• Crying is blackmail.
• Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
  Subtle hints do not work!
  Strong hints do not work!
  Obvious hints do not work!
  Just say it!
• Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
• Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
• Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
• If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
• You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
  If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
• Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
• ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
• If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
• If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
• If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
• When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine… Really.
• Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf.
• You have enough clothes.
• You have too many shoes.
• I am in shape. Round is a shape.

Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.

YouTube