The new year.
It always happens, you know? Until, one year, it won’t. At least, not for you, it won’t. But for everyone else, it will keep rolling along.
So, here we are again. A new year, with good intentions, with hopes and dreams, of visions of the way I ought to be, and frustration at all the ways I don’t match up with that vision I have of myself that I carry in my head.
I have been here before.
This is where I am frustrated that I am not writing about my work with the poor, because I am busy working with the poor. And where I am frustrated about my lack of ability to lose weight. And how scattered I feel all of the time. And how I seem to keep getting in the way of me.
So, the inclination is to tell you, dear reader, about how I can finally, now that the calendar has turned over, work to change all of that. How I intend to get up at 5:00 6:00am to write every day, and my new 1500 calorie diet and my new therapeutic routine to manage my ADHD. But, I am going to resist that. It might be easier to just disappoint you now, rather than disappoint you (and me) three months from now when none of that pans out.
I am trying to be kinder to myself these days. I think I will start there, and see how that pans out instead.
All kindness begins with self-kindness. I didn’t make any resolutions that way anything I do is an unexpected surprise.